sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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