i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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