were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
