There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
