Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
