you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
