I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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