shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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