Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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