The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
