Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
