After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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