First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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