He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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