Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize