so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
