Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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