I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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