He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
