Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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