I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
