All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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