Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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