its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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