Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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