I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
