great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Oh god it's open bar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
