Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
