I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
