Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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