Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
