There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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