the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Duck Duck Cougar?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
