So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
