I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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