My liver just broke up with me...
thus making me awesome and them whores
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
