can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
