Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
