Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
