i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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