How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just pee around me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
