I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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