Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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