ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
