Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
either way he was missing a nipple.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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