Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
