that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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