Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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