Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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