just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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