i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize