i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
