I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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