does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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