You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize