Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
