He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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