but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize