Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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