before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize