Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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