he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
