For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
